Monday, October 29, 2012

42 Procrastinations

Jim Mowatt asked me to write a short piece for the special ZZ9 zine to be distributed at Novacon. Unfortunately I have a report to write. Urgently. While considering the dilemma I contemplated my procrastination options:
1.     I must just check my work email
2.     I need a mug of tea
3.     Did I clean my teeth? I’ll just pop up and do that now
4.     Look at the state of the carpet – I’ll feel more comfortable if I vac it (I know I don’t usually care but…)
5.     Perhaps I should set the training days for next year
6.     Before I do that I need to put bank holidays in my diary
7.     And school holidays – mustn’t clash with those
8.     I’d better call Gareth to check he’s happy with the dates
9.     Now I’ve got Safari open I’ll just check my Yahoo! Account
10.  Hurricane in Jamaica, selling virginity for $780,000 – I’ll have a quick look. It might come up in conversation
11.  It won’t take long to check my demon account
12.  And my gmail
13.  Both of them
14.  And perhaps I’d better check my demon account on line – odd things haven’t been coming through
15.  I’d better finish the Humber Energy audit report and send it now it’s been proofed
16.  I’ll just do the purl row of my knitting so I’m ready to increase on the next row
17.  But what if I forget it’s an increase row? I’ll do the increase knit row
18.  Time for another mug of tea
19.  I’ll do the dishes while I’m in the kitchen
20.  I’d better set an alarm for my meeting with Jess this afternoon
21.  I’ll sort my expenses for September
22.  And check the thesaurus for synonyms for procrastinate
23.  Is ‘synonym’ the right word? I’ll check my dictionary
24.  I’ll have a quick look at my ‘To Do’ list. Maybe spend ten minutes tweaking the order.
25.  I’ll just give Darren a quick call – doesn’t do to forget the marketing
26.  And email Edward James about Novacon
27.  And Dave Hicks
28.  Oops. Time for a pee. All that tea
29.  I’ll clean the sink while I’m here
30.  I should move the books from the chair back onto the shelves
31.  And at least put the ‘A’s in order
32.  And the ‘B’s
33.  Whilst I’m up I’d best put the wine bottle in the recycling bin
34.  And put the bin out – I know the collection’s not until Monday but I don’t want to miss it
35.  There’s a helicoptor!
36.  I haven’t watered this plant for ages, poor thing
37.  Time to pop down to see Jess
38.  Whilst I’m here I’ll wander down Sharrow Vale and pick up a loaf of bread
39.  I wonder whether they’ve got any nice fruit at Sharrow Marrow
40.  Just before I start the report I must make a mug of tea
41.  Maybe I’ll write Jim’s piece
42.  I’ll check his email again
Cripes! It’s only supposed to be a hundred words. It could take me days to edit it down. And bloody hell! The deadline was three days ago…
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

1 comment:

  1. This reminds me of the Pascal quote:

    Je n'ai fait celle-ci plus longue que parce que je n'ai pas eu le loisir de la faire plus courte.

    I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.