42 Procrastinations

Jim Mowatt asked me to write a short piece for the special ZZ9 zine to be distributed at Novacon. Unfortunately I have a report to write. Urgently. While considering the dilemma I contemplated my procrastination options:

1.     I must just check my work email

2.     I need a mug of tea

3.     Did I clean my teeth? I’ll just pop up and do that now

4.     Look at the state of the carpet – I’ll feel more comfortable if I vac it (I know I don’t usually care but…)

5.     Perhaps I should set the training days for next year

6.     Before I do that I need to put bank holidays in my diary

7.     And school holidays – mustn’t clash with those

8.     I’d better call Gareth to check he’s happy with the dates

9.     Now I’ve got Safari open I’ll just check my Yahoo! Account

10.  Hurricane in Jamaica, selling virginity for $780,000 – I’ll have a quick look. It might come up in conversation

11.  It won’t take long to check my demon account

12.  And my gmail

13.  Both of them

14.  And perhaps I’d better check my demon account on line – odd things haven’t been coming through

15.  I’d better finish the Humber Energy audit report and send it now it’s been proofed

16.  I’ll just do the purl row of my knitting so I’m ready to increase on the next row

17.  But what if I forget it’s an increase row? I’ll do the increase knit row

18.  Time for another mug of tea

19.  I’ll do the dishes while I’m in the kitchen

20.  I’d better set an alarm for my meeting with Jess this afternoon

21.  I’ll sort my expenses for September

22.  And check the thesaurus for synonyms for procrastinate

23.  Is ‘synonym’ the right word? I’ll check my dictionary

24.  I’ll have a quick look at my ‘To Do’ list. Maybe spend ten minutes tweaking the order.

25.  I’ll just give Darren a quick call – doesn’t do to forget the marketing

26.  And email Edward James about Novacon

27.  And Dave Hicks

28.  Oops. Time for a pee. All that tea

29.  I’ll clean the sink while I’m here

30.  I should move the books from the chair back onto the shelves

31.  And at least put the ‘A’s in order

32.  And the ‘B’s

33.  Whilst I’m up I’d best put the wine bottle in the recycling bin

34.  And put the bin out – I know the collection’s not until Monday but I don’t want to miss it

35.  There’s a helicoptor!

36.  I haven’t watered this plant for ages, poor thing

37.  Time to pop down to see Jess

38.  Whilst I’m here I’ll wander down Sharrow Vale and pick up a loaf of bread

39.  I wonder whether they’ve got any nice fruit at Sharrow Marrow

40.  Just before I start the report I must make a mug of tea

41.  Maybe I’ll write Jim’s piece

42.  I’ll check his email again

Cripes! It’s only supposed to be a hundred words. It could take me days to edit it down. And bloody hell! The deadline was three days ago…

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.